that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
We need to get me chipped asap
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
