I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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