How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
