I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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