he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize