I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
not ubering you a puppy
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
