We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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