So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
