Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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