we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I supernannyed him into submission
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
