Your tits are I can't wait for
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
