can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
