TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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