hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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