do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Every concussion has its silver lining
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
