Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
