Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
