Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize