You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
In America we eat man semen.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
