They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize