I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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