What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You were trust falling into bushes
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize