wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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