when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
