i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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