i jhust puked up my retainher.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My dick has a subreddit
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
