Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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