I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize