You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
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