U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
