Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize