do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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