Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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