Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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