I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
