You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
