All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
