all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
