i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
