think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize