Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
