I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
