Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
