that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
