My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
