bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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