i always forget guys have bellybuttons
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize