I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Come share oat with me in your robe
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
