Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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