When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
