And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
where are you?
Hypothermia
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
