That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
im having a threesome with these popsicles
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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