what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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