so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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