Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
