So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize