Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
