Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
