Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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