You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
We need to get me chipped asap
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
