Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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